


Poison & Wine

by Silvaimagery



Category: Twilight (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, Happy Ending, Imprinting, Jealousy, Lies, M/M, Understandings, Unrequited Love, a bit non-con, sex with a minor, wolf in heat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-25 22:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/958208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvaimagery/pseuds/Silvaimagery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jacob imprints on Edward and goes into heat but Edward isn’t willing to help or put his relationship with Bella in jeopardy.  Carlisle is forced to help in order to save Jacob’s life.  Jacob, Edward and Carlisle’s lives change forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Immortal 33
> 
> Title and lyrics from the song ‘Poison & Wine’ by The Civil Wars.
> 
> I rated it mature just because of the themes and for the sex scene in Ch. 1

Summary

_You only know what I want you to. ___

__

__Carlisle POV_ _

__“Please, you have to help my son.”_ _

__I look over at Jacob writhing on the small bed, his body covered with sweat._ _

__Even at a distance I can feel the severe amount of heat his body is emitting._ _

__“There really isn’t much I can do.” I say turning to look at Billy. “Maybe one of the wolves can help-”._ _

__“They can’t, Jacob has imprinted on Edward.”_ _

__“What? Does Edward know about this?”_ _

__I start to think back, trying to remember if Edward had been acting unusual._ _

__I really hadn’t seen much of him._ _

__He had been spending more and more time with Bella and I had long shifts at the hospital._ _

__“He does.”_ _

__“And?”_ _

__“He wants nothing to do with it.”_ _

__Damn him._ _

__That he would ignore the severity of the situation…I had no words to express how I felt at this moment._ _

__I had hoped that I had taught Edward better._ _

__“I don’t know what to tell you Billy. I can’t force Edward to accept Jacob if he really doesn’t want to.”_ _

__“There has to be something you can do.”_ _

__Jacob whines with pain._ _

__I walk over and place my hand over his forehead._ _

__He moans at the contact._ _

__His heat burns me and I fight the instinct to wrench my hand from his skin._ _

__“Please, anything you can do.”_ _

__“Edward.” Jacob moans, his hand coming up to hold mine over his sweaty chest._ _

__I look down at him._ _

__He opens glassy eyes for a brief moment before closing them again._ _

__I bite my lip._ _

__I had a responsibility as a doctor to help my patients any way I could._ _

__Hell, it was the reason why I had changed Edward and Esme._ _

__I had to put my own discomforts aside and focus on him._ _

__I sigh and close my eyes._ _

__Esme might forgive me for this._ _

__She also might not._ _

__Was the life of this young wolf worth the life I had created with my wife?_ _

__“Doctor?”_ _

__I turn my head to look at Billy for a moment before looking back down at Jacob._ _

__I just couldn’t walk away and live with my decision._ _

__Jacob would die and it would be my fault._ _

__I wanted nothing more than to hit Edward for putting me in this situation._ _

__“There is something I can try, but I need your permission. Your son is still underage.”_ _

__He is silent for moment._ _

__“If it will save my son, then you have my permission to do anything that you can.”_ _

__I nod._ _

__“I need to call my wife. If you could wipe him down with some cool water, I would very much appreciate it.”_ _

__“Of course.”_ _

__I remove Jacob’s hand._ _

__“Edward, don’t go.” He whines._ _

__“Shh.” I say combing his hair away from his face._ _

__I step out into the hall and take a moment before taking out my cell phone and calling Esme._ _

__“Carlisle.” She greets and I can hear the smile in her voice._ _

__“Hi love. I called to let you know that I won’t make it home tonight.”_ _

__“That’s a shame. Edward is bringing Bella over.”_ _

__I tighten my hand into a fist and I swallow down the anger so that it won’t come through in my voice._ _

__“That’s nice. I have to go, my patients are waiting. I might stay all day tomorrow as well.”_ _

__“Carlisle, don’t push yourself too hard. I know you care but-”_ _

__“I understand Esme, but my patient needs my care and attention.”_ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__“I’ll see you soon.”_ _

__“Bye.”_ _

__I hang up the phone and take a deep breath before walking back into Jacob’s room._ _

__“Thank you Billy. I’ll take it from here.”_ _

__He grasps my hand._ _

__“I cannot thank you enough.”_ _

__“Let’s just hope this works.”_ _

__“I trust that it will.”_ _

__I nod at him and he leaves the room, the door shutting close behind him._ _

__I start to remove my suit, placing it on the desk chair._ _

__I move towards Jacob, who has cracked open his eyes and is reaching out for me._ _

__I remove his cut-off jeans and he lifts his hips to help the process._ _

__“Edward.” He whispers._ _

__I close my eyes and pray that it works._ _

__I let him pull me over his body._ _

__I cry out as his hot body burns me and he cries out as my cold body touches his overheated flesh._ _

__His hands pull at me with unnatural strength and I feel the sting of his fingers biting into my arms._ _

__“Easy, just calm down.”_ _

__He wraps his legs around my back and thrusts up against me._ _

__“Come on, Edward. I need you so much.”_ _

__I lower my head and touch his lips with mine._ _

__He kisses me back, his lips pushing and pulling against mine._ _

__And I know he won’t allow slow and careful love making from me right now. Perhaps when the heat is near its end._ _

__But for the moment, all he wants is to feel the force of our copulation._ _

__I raise a hand and touch his neck._ _

__I allow his scent to wash over me and the beat of his heart thrums through me._ _

__I let my teeth bite down on his jugular._ _

__He cries out and his finger nails scratch down my back._ _

__It has been a long time since I have felt such urgency and it makes me feel alive._ _

__I allow that feeling to take over me._ _

__I bite down harder on his neck._ _

__“Yes, like that.” He pants._ _

__I suck on my fingers and allow them to slowly move down his body teasingly._ _

__I circle them over his puckered flesh._ _

__He stares up at me, his mouth open and his eyes glazed._ _

__“Tell me I’m the first.”_ _

__“Yes, Edward. Only you.”_ _

__I ignore the name and focus on the moment._ _

__“I’m going to make you feel good.”_ _

__“Please.”_ _

__“Turn over.”_ _

__“No. I want to see your face.”_ _

__I grab his hips and flip him over so that he’s lying on his stomach._ _

__“Edward, I need to see you.”_ _

__He fights against me._ _

__“Stop.” I tell him._ _

__He shivers against me._ _

__I carefully insert a finger and work him slowly until he starts responding to it._ _

__“More.” He moans._ _

__I lick his neck, the salt of his sweat making me salivate._ _

__“You smell good.”_ _

__He lifts his hips and moves back against my fingers._ _

__“Mark me; I need to know that I’m yours.” He whispers._ _

__I groan._ _

__It’s the one thing I can’t allow myself to do and I force down the raw animal need to mark what is mine._ _

__Instead I bite down against his shoulder, careful not to pierce the skin._ _

__“Fuck me already! Come on, come on.”_ _

__I thrust three fingers into him to make sure that he is ready._ _

__I know he will heal but I don’t want it to hurt more than it has to._ _

__I sit back on my haunches and lift his hips._ _

__“No! Not like this, please.”_ _

__I close my eyes and I allow him to roll onto his back._ _

__“Edward.”_ _

__I clench my firsts and lean over him._ _

__“Don’t say my name, can you do that?”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“Just stop saying my name. I can’t concentrate when you say it.”_ _

__I kiss him hard and deep and soon he’s moaning and demanding that I fuck him._ _

__Thankfully he listens and doesn’t say that name anymore._ _

__I move into him carefully and he allows it for a few minutes before moving against me._ _

__I lift his legs higher up on my waist and grab a hold of his hips before thrusting into him with earnest._ _

__“Yes! Just like that. Don’t stop, please. Don’t ever stop.”_ _

__I feel sweat break out over my body and I lean down to lick his glistening abs._ _

__I feel him tighten around me as the first orgasm hits._ _

__I thrust harder and push him over a second time in the span of seconds._ _

__His eyes are screwed shut and he screams out as I fuck into him harder and harder._ _

__“Wait, wait.”_ _

__I stop my movements and allow him to catch his breath._ _

__“Okay?”_ _

__He nods and clutches at the bed spread._ _

__I thrust slowly into him until he is nice and hard again._ _

__He pants and moves his hips in rhythm with mine._ _

__I can feel the pressure building up in me and I need to make him come at least twice more._ _

__I lay over him, knowing that he can take my weight._ _

__He places his arms around me, his hands caressing down my back._ _

__I kiss his face and his hair._ _

__My hands move up and down his flank._ _

__I caress his thighs and he clenches around me again._ _

__His teeth close around my neck and I smile with the irony of it._ _

__He cries out and I feel the wetness of his ejaculate spread between us._ _

__I allow myself to move harder into him and he opens his mouth in a silent scream._ _

__I close my eyes and I release into him._ _

__My breath comes out in hard pants and I moan as I thrust into his tight heat one last time._ _

__I touch my forehead against his and allow myself to catch my breath before pulling out of him._ _

__He groans and I roll him onto his side._ _

__He pulls my arm over his waits and holds it up to his chest._ _

__I curl around his back and close my eyes._ _

__**************_ _

__I open my eyes a while later._ _

__Jacob is sleeping beside me and I sit up to take a look at him._ _

__His fever is passing._ _

__I close my eyes and I allow myself a moment to bask in the happiness of saving a life._ _

__I get up slowly, trying not to disturb him._ _

__I get dressed and walk out of the room, closing the door behind me._ _

__I can hear Billy moving around and I follow the noise to the kitchen._ _

__He is seated at the table having some coffee and toast._ _

__I look out the window and see that the sun is rising._ _

__“The fever is passing.” I say._ _

__I cannot bring myself to look him in the eyes after what I did with his underage son._ _

__“Thank you Doctor.”_ _

__“I shall leave now. I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell your son it was me.”_ _

__“You think he won’t remember?”_ _

__“I doubt it. He was too gone in the fever and he…well. I would appreciate your discretion.”_ _

__“If you do not want him to know it was you, I won’t mention it. But what shall I tell my son when he thinks it was Edward who saved him?”_ _

__“I will deal with Edward. Hopefully there is no reason for them to see each other.”_ _

__“You cannot think you can keep this a secret for long.”_ _

__“Just long enough.”_ _

__He nods._ _

__“Thank you.”_ _

__“Thank you for saving my son.”_ _

__I walk out the door._ _

__The wolves stare back at me from the edge of the forest and I ignore them._ _

__I drive to the hospital and take a shower and change clothes before my morning shift._ _

__I know lying won’t solve anything._ _

__Eventually everything will come out._ _

__I just hope that I can fix this before everything goes to hell._ _

__I sigh and put my head down on my desk._ _

__It is done and now I have to live with the consequences._ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I know everything you don’t want me to. ___

Jacob POV

 

When I wake up, I feel like myself again.

I look around the room but I’m alone.

I can still smell him on me, around me.

Everywhere.

Edward.

I smile to myself before getting out of bed.

I shower and get ready for school.

I go into the kitchen to eat breakfast.

My dad is sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in front of him.

He keeps staring at me and I know it must be weird for him.

I just hope he didn’t hear too much of what went on.

“So.” I say clearing my throat.

He’s being too quiet.

“I guess this is awkward.”

He shrugs.

I shift in my seat.

“So, did he leave on his own or did you kick him out?”

“Why would I kick him out?”

“I don’t know. You’ve never liked him.”

“Hmm.”

I sigh.

“Okay, fine. Just sit there and don’t say anything. I guess nothing is better than you bashing him.”

“I’m not going to bash him; he did what he had to do in order to save your life. For that I will always be thankful.”

“So then I guess it’ll be okay if he comes around?”

He stares at me for a long moment.

“It’s okay.” He finally says.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

I finish the rest of my breakfast and hurry to get my books and head out for school.

I kiss his forehead on my way out.

“Jacob.”

I turn to look at him.

“Be careful.”

I smile.

“Don’t worry dad.”

********************

I make it to the school in time to see Edward lead Bella to his car.

I watch him to see if there is anything different in the way he looks at her but he seems to be acting the same.

I follow them to her house.

He leads her up to the front door and kisses her.

I turn away and decide to wait for him in the road, just before he turns off to the path that leads to the Cullen home.

I sit down and wait.

I can hear the car speeding down towards me and I stand and walk to the road.

He stops three feet away from me and he stares before getting out of the car.

I walk towards him.

“Hey.” I say trying to contain my smile.

He stares back.

“Was there something you wanted?”

I laugh.

“Not much.”

He frowns at me before I throw my arms around him and kiss him.

His hands touch my waist and suddenly I find myself flying through the air.

I crash back against a tree and I fall to my knees.

I look up at him.

“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing dog, but if you ever touch me again I won’t be as gentle.”

Dog.

My eyes sting with tears.

He gets back in his car, the door slamming shut before he speeds past me.

I sit there for a moment, trying to control all the different emotions going through me.

Finally I sniff one last time before forcing myself to my feet.

I walk back home.

I enter the house and walk to the kitchen.

Dad is preparing dinner.

“It wasn’t Edward.” I say.

He turns to look at me and then down at my torn shirt.

He sighs before turning off the stove.

“No.”

“Why didn’t you tell me!” 

I want to punch the wall so bad but I didn’t want to have to fix it later.

“I promised.”

“Who? Who did you promise?”

“The doctor.”

I close my eyes and take a seat at the table.

I feel like I’m going to be sick.

I put my head down over my folded arms.

“I told him you would think it was Edward but he didn’t want you to know. He did it to save you Jacob. If you’re going to be angry at anyone then it has to be at me. I told him to do anything he could to help you.”

I wipe my wet eyes on my shirt sleeves before raising my head.

“I’m not mad.”

He touches my head.

“You’re all I have left. I couldn’t just watch you die.”

“I know.” I whisper.

“I’m sorry.”

I kneel down next to him and hug him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Oh your mouth is poison_
> 
> _Your mouth is wine ___

Carlisle POV

 

I arrive home at around two o’clock.

I kiss Esme hello before going up to shower and change.

Thankfully the shower I had this morning and the strong smell of the antiseptic from the hospital masked the scent of the wolves.

When I come back down, Esme is out in the garden.

I watch her work for a while before she comes and sits down next to me.

We sit in silence, just enjoying each other’s company.

The others begin to arrive at three-twenty and Esme goes inside to ask them about their day.

I sit there watching the trees sway in the wind.

I know that I have to come clean with Esme, if she finds out from someone else…well, it would be better if she heard it from me.

Besides, I had done it to save Jacob’s life. She would understand.

Twenty minutes later I hear Edward drive up to the driveway, his car door slamming shut and I frown.

I stand up to go and investigate when a figure appears in between the trees.

I step down from the porch.

Jacob stares back at me.

I look back at the house before walking towards him.

He turns and walks further in to the woods.

He stops once we’re far enough from the house.

“My dad told me.”

I close my eyes before opening them again.

“It’s for the best I suppose.”

He turns on me, his face contorted with anger.

“You let me believe it was him! Did you know what I did? I kissed him and he threw me away like I was some fucking leech.” He laughs without humor. “Me, the leech.” He snorts.

“Jacob.”

“I know that you did it to save me, so thanks for that I guess.” He shrugs.

“I’m sorry. I should have stayed and talked to you, I just didn’t want to have to explain it or to have you look at me with disappointment. But I did what I had to do, what he wasn’t willing to do for you. Your father asked me to save you and I did. I don’t regret that.”

I place a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re still young and I know that you can’t just forget him, but I wish that you would try. Edward can’t see anyone else besides Bella. He’s obsessed with her as much as she is with him.”

“Maybe it’s not him. I mean, I accepted you didn’t I?”

“You thought it was him.”

“But now I know it wasn’t and I’m not sick. It went away because of you.”

I swallow.

Once was fine, it was necessary.

But continuing this as if it were an actual relationship was out of the question.

“Jacob. I have a wife, one that I love.”

“Then walk away.”

He moves closer to me and I let him.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” I tell him.

“I’m willing to risk it. Are you?”

I look at him.

I caress a hand down his neck.

He was mine; I had already claimed him as such.

But now the question remained: was I going to keep him or was I going to let him go?

I wrap a hand around the back of his neck and pull him towards me.

His lips touch mine hungrily and I kiss him back with equal force.

“You know that you can’t tell anyone.”

“I don’t care as long as I get to be with you. Carlisle.”

I plaster his body against mine and devour his mouth, my hands moving down to squeeze his backside.

After a few long minutes, I push him away.

I caress his soft hair.

“Go home; your father will start to worry.”

“Can I come see you tomorrow?”

“Not here. Meet me at my office in the hospital.”

“Okay.”

I kiss his forehead before turning my back and walking away.

What I was doing was wrong.

But a big part of me didn’t care.

He was mine.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You think your dreams are the same as mine ___

Jacob POV

I’m surprised to walk out of school and find Edward waiting for me.

I walk towards my bike and ignore him.

It hurt to pretend he wasn’t there, even knowing that he was there for me.

But he didn’t want me.

Like Carlisle said, he couldn’t see anyone else besides Bella.

“Jacob.” He says.

I watch him walk closer.

“Look. We need to talk about what happened yesterday.”

“Don’t worry yourself Ed.” He narrows his eyes and his lips thin in annoyance. “It was a mistake. So, sorry if I hurt your leech-y sensibilities. I have to go, I’m late for something.”

I straddle my bike.

He grabs my arm.

“You kissed me.” He hisses.

“Yeah, and then you drove away.”

I push him off of me.

Carlisle was waiting for me.

My heart beats faster with excitement.

“Why did you kiss me?”

“I told you, it was a mistake. I thought you were someone else.”

“What?”

“Look, never mind. I have to go.”

“Jacob.”

He looks at me intently like if he was searching for something and I try to block my thoughts.

“Stay out of my head.”

I hate that he thinks he can just take what he wants without asking.

If I wanted to share it with him then I would tell him.

He opens his mouth but then closes it.

“Fine.” He finally bites out.

I drive away towards the hospital.

I park my bike and make my way up to Carlisle’s floor.

I shift from foot to foot and I can already feel myself getting hard.

I walk quickly to his office door.

I stop when I hear raised voices inside.

“-some nerve to throw that in my face when you were the one who forced me into that position!”

“Oh and I suppose that it’s also my fault that you are still having an affair with him!”

Edward.

I look at the passersby but no one seems to be paying attention to what’s going on inside.

“Look, it’s my decision.”

“What about Esme? Is she okay with you fucking a sixteen year old? Not to mention the fact that he’s a Reservation dog.”

“You watch the way you speak about Jacob!”

“You will stop this.”

“Or what?”

They’re both silent.

“Don’t think that I’m going to be silent about this.”

“Mind your own damn business.”

“Stay away from him.”

“He’s mine and I’ll keep seeing if I damn well please. Now get out.”

I move away from the door and hide around the corner.

Edward walks by, his eyes finding mine.

“You don’t know what love is.” He tells me. “You’re just a stupid kid.”

“I never said I loved him.” I tell him.

He shakes his head and I watch him disappear behind the elevator doors.

I walk to Carlisle’s door and knock.

“Come in.”

I step in and close the door.

He stands from behind his desk and smiles.

“So I guess you heard that.” He says.

“Yeah.”

“Well, don’t pay attention to him. He likes to meddle where it doesn’t concern him.”

I shrug.

He walks around the desk and towards me.

“So. How was your day?”

“Same as always. Yours?”

“Busy.”

“Hmm.”

He presses my body against the door.

“Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“Good.”

He presses his lips against mine.

I raise my hands up to his shoulders.

“You smell so good.” He whispers against my ear.

I feel his lips close around my neck.

I close my eyes and try to make the earlier excitement come back.

But it's useless.

All I can see is Edward's face.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Oh I don’t love you but I always will_
> 
> _I always will ___

Edward POV

 

I watch Bella talk and laugh with Alice.

I look away.

“You’ve been very quiet.”

I turn to look at Jasper.

“I have a lot on my mind.”

He nods.

“You’ve been projecting a lot lately.”

I look back at Bella.

“You’re not the same.”

I shrug.

“Things have changed.”

“I just hope that you’ll be happy again.”

I glance at Carlisle sitting with Esme on the couch.

He kisses her cheek.

How can he act like it’s all okay?

It wasn’t okay, at least not for me.

“Happiness comes and goes.”

I walk away and step out into the front porch.

“I’m going for a walk.” I tell Emmett and Rosalie who are sitting on the porch swing.

“I’ll let her know if she asks.” Rosalie tells me.

I nod.

“Go get your nature on. Don’t worry, we’ll keep her here till you come back.” Emmett tells me.

“Thanks.”

I walk deeper into the woods and let instinct guide me.

I can hear them shouting playfully as they wrestle against each other.

I hide behind a tree and watch him.

He shoves and laughs, his skin glistening with sweat.

I’ve been thinking a lot about him.

Ever since I got the image of him and Carlisle together.

I clench my hands.

Carlisle had no right to take what didn’t belong to him.

I step out from behind the tree and the wolves stop playing around.

“What are you doing here?” Sam asks me.

“I need to talk with Jacob.”

He looks at Jacob and Jacob nods his consent.

He gathers the rest of the wolves and they walk away, most of them giving me dirty looks.

I ignore them.

“What?”

I watch him pull his t-shirt back on.

“I wanted to know if there was any way I could talk you out of continuing to have this affair with Carlisle.”

He snorts.

“So now you’re all for the greater good huh?”

Annoyance creeps up on me but I keep it in.

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I.”

“I don’t think you understand just what you’re doing. There are other people to think about than yourself.”

“Yeah, well. I needed you and you didn’t give a shit. Good think at least Carlisle has a sense of decency and didn’t let me die.”

I look away, guilt churning in my stomach.

He was right.

If I had listened when he told me that he had imprinted on me, none of this would have happened.

“That doesn’t mean that you had to continue having sex with him. I understand the whole heat thing, which was my fault. I’ll admit that but there is no need for you to be with him anymore.”

“I want to.”

“It’s not good enough.”

“Like you’re one to judge.”

I know he was talking about my relationship with Bella.

“It’s different. I’m not married to someone else.”

He shrugs, his arms crossing over his chest.

“Jacob.”

He looks at me.

“I’m asking you, please. Stop this.”

“I know that he doesn’t love me the way he loves his wife and yeah, it might just be some little fling for him. Who knows, maybe I make him feel alive. The point is that he wants to be with me.”

“Do you love him?”

“What does it matter?”

“Just tell me.”

I wait for him to answer, my breath stuck in my throat.

“Can’t say I do.”

I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Then just explain why you’re with him. Is it for the sex?”

“I don’t have to keep explaining myself to you Edward. You made your feelings for me perfectly clear. I’ve found someone who wants to be with me. Get over it.”

He turns to walk away and I reach to out to hold him in place.

“Jacob. Just tell that you’ll think about what I said.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

I watch him walk away.

I knew he was free to be with who he wanted.

But knowing that it was Carlisle didn’t sit well with me.

And not just because of Esme.

Jacob wanted me.

Why should he settle for a substitute?

I was willing to step in and give him what he needed.

I was willing to give him everything he wanted.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I wish you’d hold me when I turn my back_
> 
> _The less I give the more I get back ___

Carlisle POV

“Stay away from him.”

I look up at Edward standing in the doorway to my study.

“We’ve already talked about this.” I say returning my attention to my patient files.

I feel angry that he thinks my relationship with Jacob has anything to do with him.

He had his chance and he decided not to take it.

“Have you talked to Esme?”

I put down my pen and look at him.

“Are you here to make a point or just to threaten me?”

He walks in and closes the door.

I brace myself for another round of his judgmental ranting.

“I’ve figured some things out.”

I frown.

I don’t really know where he was going with this.

“Are you in love with him?”

“I care about him.”

“But do you love him?”

I recline against the chair and really scrutinize him.

“Where are you getting at Edward? You’re going to tell me that you love him?”

He purses his lips and I have my answer.

“I see. Is it just because he isn’t following you around and asking you to love him? What about Bella? You’re just not in love with her anymore then?”

He slams a fist down on the desk.

“I love Bella, I’ve never used her.”

“Haven’t you?” I shake my head.

I had always hoped I had taught him something, I just wish it had been something good.

“You have taught me a lot of things Carlisle. And I’m sorry that I haven’t always lived up to your expectations. But I know what I want now.”

I sigh.

“He loves you.”

It hurts to say it, but it was the truth.

“Carlisle.”

I hold up a hand.

“I claimed his body Edward but he won’t ever feel for me the way he feels for you. You’re the one he imprinted on; you’re the one he wants.”

He sits down.

“I’m sorry that I forced you to get involved with this Carlisle. I really am.”

“I know.”

“What happens now?”

“Well, I have to talk to Esme and tell her everything. Then I have to tell Jacob that we have to stop playing around.”

He nods.

He is still as young and lost as when I met him.

I lean forward.

“I’m glad you’ve opened your eyes Edward.”

“I just wish it had happened sooner.”

“Things happen for a reason.” I shrug.

***************

“Esme.”

She turns to look at me and I hold out a hand to her.

She takes it and follows me out into the back porch.

We sit and watch the sunset together.

“There’s something I have to tell you.”

I wish I could still drink; I could use some liquid courage.

“Okay.”

“I have loved you from the moment I saw you. I hope you know that.”

Her smile is beautiful.

“I love you too Carlisle.”

“I’ve tried to be a good husband to you.”

She grips my hand.

“You are, you always have been.”

I smile.

“No. Not always.”

“Carlisle.”

“Two weeks ago when I told you I had to stay at the hospital, I lied. I was at Billy Black’s house, Jacob went into heat and he was really sick. Billy told me his son had imprinted on Edward but Edward wasn’t willing to help out.”

“That poor boy. Edward should have done the right thing.”

“I know, but I was able to help.”

“That’s good. I know you have always had a passion for helping others. It’s the reason why I’m still alive.”

There was no easy way to say it, no way to spare her feelings. I just had to tell her.

“I had sex with him.”

She stares at me, her eyes wide and disbelieving.

“He thought I was Edward.”

I look away from her face and focus on our clasped hands.

I caress her wrist.

“I don’t know what to say.”

I shake my head.

“You did what you had to do Carlisle; you can’t believe I would hold that against you.”

“He and I…we’ve been having sex for the past two weeks. He comes to the hospital or we find a secluded place to be together.”

She removes her hand from mine.

I feel like a spear has embedded itself in my chest.

“I have no right to ask you to forgive me. I have hurt you intentionally and I’m sorry. If you want me to, I will leave.”

She turns her face away.

I get up and turn to walk away.

“Carlisle.”

I turn to look at her.

She stands.

“We have built a life together. This house, the kids. I won’t force you to leave it all behind. In time I can forgive you, just don’t ask me to live without you. I love you, you are my husband.”

I pull her close and hug her.

“I love you so much.” I whisper.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Oh your hands can heal,_
> 
> _Your hands can bruise ___

Jacob POV

I met Carlisle on the other side of town.

There was less chance that we would run into someone we knew.

I arrive first and wait for him in the clearing.

He drives up five minutes later.

I kiss him hello.

He grabs my wrists and pulls them from around his neck.

“Jacob.” He whispers.

I know what he’s going to say.

My heart beats faster in my chest.

Maybe I didn’t love him but I had come to enjoy the moments we had together.

Edward was wrong.

It wasn’t just about the sex.

Sometimes all we did was kiss and lie there in silence just enjoying the feel of each other.

I push him away.

“Jacob. She’s my wife.”

I turn away.

“You don’t have to keep saying it like I’m stupid!”

He hugs me from behind.

I struggle but he holds on.

“We both know I’m not the one you want lying there next to you. I wasn’t the one you cried out for the first time.”

I hate myself for feeling hurt.

I manage to break his hold.

“You didn’t have to drive this whole way just to tell me this. After all, we were just fuck buddies right?”

I walk towards my bike.

He grabs my arm and spins me around so that I’m facing him.

“Stop it. I care about you Jacob, I really do. But who are we kidding here? I will always love Esme and you will always love Edward.”

“Yeah? Is that what you were thinking about while we were fucking?”

I hate him so much.

He frowns, his eyes darkening.

“I will not have you cheapen what we had together.”

“What we had.” I snort. “Like you said, it wasn’t love Carlisle.”

His hands tighten around my arms and I clench my teeth to stop from crying out.

“It doesn’t make what I feel for you any less.”

“That’s funny. We’re you breaking up with me just now?”

“Jacob. I know that it feels like I’m rejecting you-”

I laugh.

My eyes fill with tears.

“Aren’t you?”

“We both knew how this was going to end.”

“You always think you know everything.”

“I’ve lived longer than you.”

“That doesn’t mean anything!”

His eyes soften and his hold on me becomes less like an iron grip.

“I want you to be happy and we both know that you won’t be with me. Not like this where we have to drive all the way out here just to have a moment. I can’t leave her and I won’t. I hope you will understand one day.”

I touch his shirt.

It still hurts, even if it wasn’t exactly love.

His thumb wipes away my tears.

“I care about you too.” I admit.

He hugs me and I enjoy the feeling of it.

“Promise me you’ll give him a chance if he comes to you.”

“He won’t leave her for me.”

“You never know, love is a powerful thing.”

“Like I said, you don’t know everything.”

I can hear him smile.

“Yes I do.”

I let him go and put some distance between us.

“Thank you for saving my life.”

He nods.

I walk away and force myself not to look back.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I don’t have a choice but I’d still chose you_
> 
> _Oh I don’t love you but I always will_
> 
> _I always will. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last chapter. Now I know that this was a rather short fic, but well. I didn't want to drag it on and this was basically everything I had envisioned for this story.
> 
> I hope you have enjoyed it and thank you for reading.

Jacob POV

The following week passes much the same as the days after Carlisle broke up with me, slowly and in a blur.

My dad is concerned. 

I can tell from the way he looks at me all sad and shit.

Sam tried to make me talk to him but he wouldn’t understand.

I had been careful not to shift when the guys were around.

The last thing I needed was for them to know about everything Carlisle and I had been up to.

When I walk out of class I notice the stupid grey car in the parking lot.

I frown at it.

I walk to my bike and almost bowl Edward over.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

He stands up straight from where he was reclining against my bike.

“We need to talk.”

“Yeah? What about?”

“Important things.”

“Oh really?”

“It’s not funny.”

I smile as I push him aside.

I straddle my bike.

“In case you didn’t get the message, Carlisle and I are over so you can stop worrying your over gelled head over it.”

He grabs the handle.

“Is there somewhere we can talk in private?”

I look at him.

He looks serious, more so than usual.

“Meet me at the Res. There’s a place down by the stream.”

He nods.

He follows me all the way back home.

I park my bike by the garage and lead the way to the stream.

He follows close behind.

It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.

I don’t like him standing where I can’t see him.

I stop and look at him once we reach the place.

I open my mouth to ask what he wanted when he’s suddenly on me.

I never forgot the feel of his lips.

I touch his back and his hands move up arms. One grabs the side of my neck and the other lands on my lower back.

He moves his body closer until I’m shivering with the chill of it.

His kiss is demanding and I memorize it in case this is a one-time thing.

His lips leave mine and I open my eyes to look at him.

He stares back, his strange black eyes unblinking.

“Am I supposed to throw you into a tree now?”

He smiles slowly.

His thumb traces rhythmic circles on my neck.

I swallow the feelings that threaten to overpower me.

“I love you.” He says.

The breathe leaves my body and I know my mouth is hanging open like a complete idiot.

His eyes crinkle at the corners with his amusement.

“What about Bella?” I manage to ask.

I feel my heart in my throat.

“It’s over between us.”

“Just like that.”

“Yes. It was wrong of me to lead her on like that when I could never completely belong to her.”

I nod and move away.

“Jacob.”

“I just need a moment.”

I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

His cold hand touches the back of my neck.

My muscles tense.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you. I should have been there for you when you needed me the most. I can’t ever make it up to you but I’m willing to try if you let me.”

I swallow before turning to look at him.

“Why now?”

“I didn’t realize how I felt about you, not until I knew about you and Carlisle.”

His hands clench into fists.

“So you were jealous.”

“Yes.”

“How do I know you won’t leave once you’re over it?”

“Do you still love me?”

I look away.

“I asked you a question first.”

He sighs and sets his hands on my shoulders.

“Look at me.”

I focus my gaze on him.

“I love you, I’m in love with you and I’m not going to stop feeling that way for you. Not ever.”

“You’re sure about that?”

He rolls his eyes.

I settle my hands on his waist.

“I’ve imprinted on you, which means that I will only ever love you.” I tell him.

“But do you love me because you truly feel it or because you have no other choice?”

“I don’t have a choice. But I love you anyways; I’m in love with you.”

He touches his forehead against mine.

“That wasn’t so hard was it?”

“What? You think you’re the only one who’s allowed to be dramatic?”

He laughs.

He kisses me softly.

“How many times do you think I can make you have an orgasm right here right now?”

A shiver moves down my spine and I can already feel myself starting to get hard.

“I don’t know. You’re awfully pale and thin, I’m not sure you’ve got the stamina.”

His look becomes predatory.

I force myself to stand my ground.

In the blink of an eye he’s got me pinned to the ground.

“I’ll have to prove you wrong then shall I?”

*******************

He plays with my hand, twining our fingers together before moving his fingers slowly down my wrist.

“I’m glad you’re not complaining anymore.”

I punch him in the stomach and he groans, the air whooshing out of him.

It’s what you get.

“You weren’t the one with the pine needles poking you in the butt.”

“I thought you could handle more than a few little pine needles.”

I look at him and he smiles.

“You want me to go get some and see if you like it?”

His long fingers comb through my hair.

“I’d rather like it if you would poke me with something else.”

I snort and then laugh at the look on his face.

“Oh my god no! Worse come on ever.”

“What? Jacob, stop laughing.”

I grab at my stomach.

I try stopping but every time I look at him I start all over again.

“I can’t believe you ever won Bella over if that’s the kind of shit you were saying.” I tell him between my laughter.

He sits up against the headboard, his face all serious.

“Okay, okay. I’m stopping, I promise.”

I lay my head over his chest, a few snorts of laughter escaping against my will.

His cold hand caresses up and down my back.

I settle against him, my body relaxing with his caresses.

“Alright, so maybe it wasn’t the best line but it still didn’t deserve your laughter.”

I move my hand down his chest to his waist.

“It was pretty funny.”

He sighs.

“If I say I was sorry will you stop coming up with innuendos like that?”

He pinches my side and I pinch his thigh in retaliation.

It leads to rough housing which of course becomes foreplay.

It helps that we’re about equally matched in strength.

It makes it more interesting and much more arousing.

I pin him down beneath me.

He flips us over and almost sends us careening to the ground.

“Stop making so much noise, you’ll wake up my dad.”

“So stop fighting me.”

“You stop fighting me.”

He nips at my neck and I can’t help the moan that leaves me.

“Who’s making noise now?”

“Shut up Cullen.”

“Make me.” He whispers nipping my ear.

I shiver and bite back another moan.

“You’re not playing fair.”

He moves his lips down my throat, his tongue tracing my jugular down to my neck.

Good thing we’re already naked.

I pull him closer.

“Let’s pretend you’re the only one.” I tell him.

“I am the only one.” He growls.

“Yeah, okay.” I breathe as he nips at my nipple.

I wrap my legs around him.

“I am the only one.” He says again lifting his head to look at me. “I’m going to mark you as mine and then you’ll never forget.”

I look down at him, shivers moving from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head.

He nips the inside of my thigh and I suck in air.

“It’s always been you Edward, just you.”

He gives me a hungry look before moving his lips up my thigh.

I close my eyes and remind myself to breathe.

 

The end.


End file.
